Jul 19, 2008

Viva Las Vegas . . .

I'm in Las Vegas for the weekend. . . gambling away the kiddies college tuition and our entire life savings and yelling "Mama needs a new pair of shoes" every time I throw the dice at the craps table.

I took a walk along Las Vegas Boulevard this afternoon and is it ever hot here.

To keep cool I sucked down about 5 of those yard-long slushy drinks. Moonshine is my new favorite flavor. You can attach them with a strap around your neck and walk around looking incredibly cool as you suck them down with your yard-long straw. I'm going to collect them in every color and hang them from my neck like Mardi Gras beads. It's a wonder I can even type after drinking that many.

After all those drinks I needed to burn some calories, so I headed over to the "Pussycat Lounge" and did some cage dancing. I taught those "Pussycat Dolls" a thing or two, disco style, and got my workout in all at the same time. It was tough going for a while, my fanny pack kept smacking against the bars.

I need to slow down or I'm going to burn out too fast. Speaking of burning . . . the soles on my 1992 Reebok Freestyle high tops caught fire when I moonwalked my way back to my hotel room. It was an 8 mile walk. I'm cooling my heels in the hotel room ice bucket while I write this.

Well, I have to go. My shoes have stopped smoking and I've got some shopping to do. I need a couple souvenirs, and there's a few rhinestone studded shirts, visors, and shoes I had my eye on today. I need something really snazzy to wear for tomorrow night when I go see Wayne Newton. It's a good thing I brought my BeDazzler with me, just in case I don't find anything I like.

What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.


Kendrawolf said...

That is too funny! I can just imagine your shoes smoking! You are braver than I am with the dancing though. There is no way I'd get caught dead cage dancing!

buffalodickdy said...

You are really funny- in a good way! Laughed during your last post and this one too!

lynngweeny said...

The family is worried. I got a text message that you were yuckin' it up with Elvis at the hotel pool swim-up bar. I told you that fringe bikini would get you into trouble! And since when do you get your hair wet???

Romi said...

Cage dancing is a secret hobby of mine. I don't get many opportunities to practice except when I'm in Sin City;-)

Thanks, I aim to please with my ridiculous mind.

Who told the family where I was? Witness Protection Program isn't doing its job very well. Someone better have some answers when I get back.

Who wears a fringe bikini these days? It's all about the swim dress.

lynngweeny said...

You are a LIBRARIAN for goodness sake! From the pix message I got it didn't look like you were asking that shirtless bartender if he had read any goods books lately. Remember you are a role model.

Judy Haley said...

you spell incredibly well for someone who's had so much to drink.

I'm so glad you taught those cage dancers a thing or two

Romi said...


Sshhhh...I'm going to lose all my blogging friends if they know I'm the "L" word. I have purposely not posted any pictures of myself with a severe bun and glasses perched on the edge of my nose.

Your right about the shirtless bartender. I wasn't asking him if he read any good books lately...I was asking him if he was the guy on the cover of the romance novel I was reading for research purposes only.

I dictated this post to my daughter. She only had 3 of those drinks :-)

Swirl Girl said...

I love Vegas and am so jealous.

Candid Carrie said...

I am not an "L" but if I was an "L" I be going all dewey decimal on you. For real.

Swirl Girl said...

did you win?

did you remember to bring the 'man can' of uber strong sun screen?

I hear that not only does it erase finger prints, it also wards off evil street flyer distributors waving naked lady pictures in your face on Las Vegas Blvd.


Kat said...

I'm gonna have to live vicariously through you. Go to the Liberace museum for me. And renew your vows at a drive through Elvis chapel. Please? :-)

Shonda Little said...

What a coincidence...moonshine is my favorite color, too!
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, all but the crabs. LOl