Jul 17, 2008

Kid's, Don't try this at home . . .

Things I probably shouldn't have done when I was a kid.

I probably shouldn't have given my tadpoles a bath with "Mr. Bubbles" bubble bath soap just because they looked kind of slimy.

I probably shouldn't have tried to make cookies using fresh mint pulled from the garden, a bottle of yellow food coloring, and the entire contents of the refrigerator when I was 8 and my Mom was busy looking at the Burt Reynolds centerfold in Cosmopolitan Magazine with the neighbor across the street.

I probably shouldn't have eaten all the "Zingers" and "Ho Ho's" in the freezer in one sitting. They were meant for school lunches.

I probably shouldn't have read, "Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Sex But Were Afraid To Ask" when I was 12.

I probably shouldn't have snooped in my Mom's nightstand and found that book in the first place.

I probably shouldn't have opened and eaten the entire bottle of red candy gum called, "Sex Lax" that was given to my Mom as a gag gift on her 40th birthday when I was 12 and then confessed that I was a sex addict at dinner when I thought I had overdosed on them.

I probably shouldn't have been snooping in her dresser drawers for it either.

I probably shouldn't have gone through my oldest sister's stuff and read her diary.

I really shouldn't have admitted to it when confronted.

I shouldn't have memorized it and to this day still be able to recall everything she wrote and the day it happened.

I probably shouldn't have watched the same sister and her boyfriend saying goodnight on the porch through the bathroom window.

I probably should have cranked the bathroom window open before she and her boyfriend came home and not when she was standing in front of it.

I probably shouldn't have used a flashlight to watch them either.

I probably shouldn't have read an entire book while sitting hunched over my sister's sun lamp in an attempt to get a quick tan. That one sent me to the emergency room a couple hours later.

I'll probably need a seeing eye dog and a walking stick because of that when I'm older.

I probably shouldn't have watched any "Creature Feature" horror movie while I was alone, or ever, for that matter.

I probably shouldn't have worn my oldest sister's shoes when my feet were two sizes bigger than hers.

I probably should have told her sooner than a couple years ago that I did that.

I probably shouldn't have borrowed my other sister's prom dress and her "Miss Independence Day" sash from her reign as a princess on a parade float for Knott's Berry Farm in 1976 and worn it as a Halloween costume.

She probably wouldn't have known if I hadn't won the 4 foot tall trophy and my own sash for that dress/costume.

I probably shouldn't have mixed Boone's Farm Apple Wine, a beer or 5, and Theater Popcorn with lots of oily butter and M & M's at the drive-in when I was 16 and was supposed to start summer school the next day.

I probably should tell my Mom some day about that. She thought I had food poisoning.

I probably shouldn't have tried to sneak in the house at 5 AM through the squeaky side door when I was 17.

I probably am still grounded for that, but I'm afraid to ask.

I probably should keep the really, really crazy stuff I did private.

So what did you do that you probably shouldn't have when you were young?


Kath said...

Love it. I'm living vicariously through you as my childhood was very quiet...

lynngweeny said...

I should never have suggested we use Mrs.W's ironing board as a surfboard, sitting 3 unsuspecting, but excited kids on it and then giving it a big push down their backyard slide which promptly broke it in half (the slide, not the board).

Looking back I can see the error of my ways.

The ironing board was way too big.

I should have used their skateboard.

rox said...

I should never have taken the cigarettes out of my dads Army sea rations and smoked them on the side of the house with my little sister. I was 8 and she was six.

Romi said...

You weren't that quiet! As I recall you were with me for the Boones Farm, Popcorn adventure.:-)

Their slide should not have been made of tin foil.

That was very wrong of you. You should have included your brothers and your other sister and all would have been right. :-)

CATHY said...

Thanks for stoppin

Kendrawolf said...

Too much regret for one post...but thanks for sharing. I probably shouldn't have hmmm, I don't know. I thought I was a pretty good kid. I'm sure my mom would be better at finishing that sentence than me.

jen721 said...

Dear lord you are funny! I love the halloween costume. I bet she didn't like having a window opened on her head either. Thats it, your on my blog roll.

Judy Haley said...

Oh my goodness - funny stuff

of course I would never do anything silly or embarrassing like mistake goat turds for blueberries

Teri said...

I probably shouldn't have gone dumpster diving in the 1st grade because there was really good stuff in there, including some nice smelling lotion that I put on my face, only to find out later that it was Preparation H. Yeah, that's what I shouldn't have done.

lynngweeny said...

Now I know I should never have removed the lock from my bedroom door or revealed the location of my "secret" diary.

Kat said...

I was a perfect child. Just like I told the priest...I have nothing to confess. Nothing at all.

Shelle said...

I probably shouldn't have been talking to a really cute boy at an Orchestra concert so an old lady could slap me in order to shut me up! Yea that did happen!

Fun post!

Swirl Girl said...

I probably shouldn't have started to think about all the shit I probably shouldn't have done - because now I am locking my kids' in their rooms forever.


Romi said...

Was it her son? :-)

Swirl Girl,
Don't forget to lock the windows too. Doors are not the only way out of a room...especially if it is on the first floor. :-)

Kath said...

Swirl Girl will need bars on the windows. Windows break really easily.