Jul 21, 2008

Things I saw and heard in Las Vegas . . .

In the hotel elevator we met, "Frog" and his girlfriend - Toad? Frog rocked the godfather of all mullets. It added an extra 4 inches to his 5 foot tall frame.

On our ride with Frog and Toad, the elevator stopped on another floor and what seemed to be a hundred or maybe only five kids tried to get on. Frog hit the close button and told them there wasn't any room. The doors shut and his gal pal said, "Hey, Frog . . . for all you know those kids could be yours." Frog croaked, "I only have two." My husband added, "That you know of." Frog's girlfriend laughed and agreed with my husband, the comedian. Toad puffed up and adjusted his black nylon dress shirt with bright red flames shooting up the front and back, shook his "business in the front, party in the back" mullet out, and strode off the elevator when the doors opened with his gal pal running after him. For reasons unknown, she had glitter covering her back and neck only, like she rolled in the stuff. Whatever Frog's appeal was, it should be bottled and sold

In the hotel casino I was walking behind a group of guys on the prowl. One of them was complaining loudly, "How come he gets sucked on and I don't?"
My thoughts were as follows: "Well, with an attitude like that, it's no wonder . . ."

At 3 in the morning, as I was walking back to my hotel, I saw Elvis taking a picture of two ladies on the bridge between Caesar's Palace and Bellagio. Elvis is so "not" dead.

While standing in line waiting for a taxi I heard another group of guys behind us talking. They had big plans for the night. One guy in the group was complaining that he wasn't getting any action and he had a feeling that it wasn't going to get any better so he didn't even know why he was going with them. I wanted to ask him if he knew the guy from the casino who wasn't getting any either.

In the elevator as we were leaving the hotel . . . a big burly macho guy stood holding a little kid's raft with a grumpy look on his face. My husband, the friendliest man on earth, greeted him and asked him how he was doing. Burly macho guy held onto his Sponge Bob raft and said that he hated Las Vegas and avoids it like the plague, but his best friend was getting married, and he was the best man, so he had to be there. He said he was going down to float in the river rapids pool until he had to get ready for the wedding. He actually had the hours counted until he could leave Sin City and go home. He said he was, absolutely and without a doubt, the most miserable person in all of Las Vegas. I told him he was wrong. Mr. No Suck and Mr. No Action were.

It's a small world. . . turns out those were his brothers.


Judy Haley (coffeejitters) said...

luck be a lady

I just nominated you for an award

stop by my blog to pick it up

Kendrawolf said...

Vegas sounds like fun! Congrats on the award nomination!

Romi said...

Thank You Judy! That is so nice of you! My first blog award . . . do I need to prepare a speech? :-)

Thanks Kendrawolf:-) Vegas was fun.

Romi said...

I will do another post and linky thing to your blog tonight. I'm writing my acceptance speech and it might take a while. I have so many people to thank:-) Thanks again.

Swirl Girl said...

Why would any guy 'not get lucky' in Vegas - you can buy lucky right there (and there and there).

I just love Vegas. A total affirmation of my general attractiveness and class. The ugliest people visit there second only to Dollywood.

Oh- and I am a gambling junkie too!

did you win?

lynngweeny said...

Why is it that guys feel entitled to sex when they are in Las Vegas? Is it something in the water?

Romi said...

Swirl Girl,
Re: The guys . . . it's so true about that. All they have to do is walk outside grab one of those cards that a million guys are passing out on the streets and they'll get "lucky" for a price:-)

Didn't win anything...not a gambler in real life no matter what my blog tells you:-)

...and I love Vegas too . . . I try and pretty it up when I go there. LOL!

I think it's the fact that guys are drinking anything but water there.

Noble Pig said...

Hey nice blog...and Vegas rocks but geez I haven't been in a while, I bet I wouldn't even recognize it!

Liz said...

Your description of Frog nearly put me in the floor. Seriously, save him for a character in a book. :)

Candid Carrie said...

Oh Good Gosh Girl, Last time I went to Vegas I married Mr. Tiny Wiener that ended up banging his secretary, remember him?

See, I can't talk like that about him at my place, but I can trash him over here, uh huh, so I will.

Thank you, this is like a way cool confessional you've got here.

It Is What It Is Confessional, how can I serve you today? All confessions served with a complimentary Novena.

Romi said...

Candid Carrie,
If you supply a picture of Mr. Tiny Wiener I will personally draw devil horns on him and a Vienna sausage over his manly parts:-)

Confess away!

His name really was Frog and he was the size of one too.

Noble Pig,
He's definitely going to be in my book. And thanks for visiting, come back for more.

ciara said...

people expect too much out of vegas. high expectations leads to big disappointments LOL i lived in vegas 21 yrs and tourists always crack me up. vegas isn't for everyone, i guess.