May 13, 2008

Please leave your probes at home...

The Vatican says it's okay to believe in aliens.


Now that they have solved that issue, I have a couple things I would like them to consider for their approval.

Dear Papal People,

Would you please work on approving Ouija boards? I have some burning questions only the board can answer.

If you approve the board then I will know it's not my sister pushing it around and messing with me.

Oh, and could you also work on approving the Magic 8 Ball? I'm still waiting on some answers there too.

What does, Definitely Maybe mean anyway? When it said, "Ask me later" long was later? Was it thinking about it? Weighing the options? Making sure it gave a morally correct answer? Or was it cranky and wanted to be left alone for a while? Tired of being the answer ball. I swear one time it said, "Do you think I know everything?" Another time it said, "Go ask your mother." I took it back to the store the day it said, "I'd worry if I were you."

If they approve the ball I have some serious business to take care of and won't be available for a while.

Please answer at your earliest convenience, consult the Ouija Board and the Magic 8 Ball if you need to, but if I don't happen to get back to you right away it's because I am on my way to Hell in a hand basket.


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