Jun 6, 2008

I looked at my high school yearbook's tonight. That is something no one should be allowed to do on a Friday night. Everyone knows that therapists don't have weekend appointments. I did it anyway. That's what happens when you are by yourself, and your husband is away, and your kids are out, and you have the house to yourself and time to waste.

I came across a few noteworthy comments.

M wrote: "I don't know why I like you so much." (Mom, I told you Sear's Charm School was going to be a huge waste of time.)

K wrote: "I don't know how we would live without you." (My nickname was, "The Savior.")

J wrote: "You are a bitchin' person." ( I'm still not allowed to say that word.)

KM wrote: "Howdy Fox, I love you." ( This one might have been flattering if a boy had written it.)

Just when things were looking up, I found the following messages.

L wrote: "You're a real weird person, but cool." ( It's all downhill from here.)

B wrote: "To a very unique person." (Unique was underlined so hard it tore through the page.)

E wrote: "You're a crazy person, but I love you anyway." (Crazy was underlined twice. I'm starting to see a pattern developing here.)

T wrote: "When you become a comedian I will come and laugh at your jokes." ( Just for that, I will let you in for free, but your friends have to pay.)

One of my teacher's wrote: "Remember, the final exam in Marriage comes in 40 years!, Love, Mr. K." ( Was that a proposal?)

S wrote: "With the possible exception of Mary G., you are the funniest person I have ever met." ( With the possible exception of everyone else, you are my best friend.)

R wrote: "How do I love thee, let me count the ways." ( That wouldn't be so creepy if I hadn't attended an all girl's school.)

D wrote: "Call me (555-1534)." ( Um, is it too late?)

N wrote: "Well ya caught me, just don't tell anyone." ( Apparently I was very attractive to other girls. It must have been my Dorothy Hamill haircut.)

D wrote: "I'm horny." ( I'll be right back, I have to go wash my hands.)

L wrote: "You've been a great P.E. ass." (Proof that I have never possessed any athletic ability.)

The rest of the messages were full of shameless flattery and declarations of lifelong friendships.

I read those nightly to boost my fragile ego.

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