May 13, 2014

Mother's Day 2014...

Mother's Day.

A day to spend with your children and family and in-laws and extended family of in-laws and about a million other people who take their moms out to lunch. 

Yep, that was how I spent this Mother's Day 2014. 

There were 22 people (crazy, right?!) in our family, meeting at a local restaurant for lunch. There were 6000 others with the same idea. Good thing we had reservations. We only waited almost 2 hours for a table and 3 hours to get served once we were seated at the table. The server notified us 15 minutes before our food was served that we were almost next! Two hours later we all took a vote and decided the server didn't know how to tell time or had quit. 
There is a 50/50 chance both of our guesses were true. The 
manager ran by on his way to a table of 10 to apologize for the 
delay. He must not have noticed our 5 tables shoved together. It looked like we were trying to set a record for most people crammed into a corner section. On a side note, this paragraph reminds me of those math/word problems from grade school. If Johnny had 4 quarters and 3 friends, how much was a gallon of milk at the corner grocer and what is x? Huh? Those math problems always stumped me. 

As a mom, I felt it was my duty to entertain the kids sitting in our 
section. We played "Heads Up!" on my phone until my battery went dead. Good thing everyone I knew was at the table and I could just take a long walk to the end if I needed to speak to anyone. I won every game by the way. You are only as good as the person(s) giving the clues. That's what they told me. 

We had our "breakfast" at 4:00 in the afternoon. Is that still considered brunch time? I need to know! 

The good news was we canceled our dinner reservations. It seemed 
wrong to go straight from breakfast to dinner. And...we sort of had all our meals at once in the middle of the day. 

We went home and had just enough time to get ready for part two 
of the festivities. We were heading for a concert in the big city. We had to pick up my mother-in-law and meet my son and daughter who had left ahead of us. We made it to the concert and our seats just as the room went dark and the concert was about to begin. There was a couple sitting in the middle section of our reserved seats. They wouldn't move. The usher sat my husband and mother-in-law next to each other and told my son to sit somewhere else. My daughter and I were sent to the empty seats at the end of the aisle. Siberia would have been closer. The pillar blocking our view was the icing on the cake. I laughed. What else was I to do! I have lots of patience and can find humor in most situations. My son somehow convinced the seat poachers that they needed to move over one seat so he could sit next to his dad. They obliged but told my son that if the person who was really supposed to sit in that seat arrived he would have to give up his spot. My son said the people who were really supposed to be sitting in those seats were his mom and sister sitting over by the pillar. Halfway through the first part of the concert the usher came down the aisle with a couple whose seats just happened to be the seats she had placed us in. My daughter showed her our tickets and explained what had happened and she waved her flashlight at some seats a few rows closer and told us to go sit there. She had us covered. 

Musical chairs at a music concert! Oh boy! 

We squeezed and apologized our way to the next set of seats in the middle of the row hoping and praying nobody showed up for them. 
There were a couple seats on the stage and I told my daughter we 
were going to end up there if this seat switching didn't end soon. 

Intermission.  Half an hour to wait in line to use the one (yes, that is true) restroom. It is an old theater. I guess nobody went to the bathroom in the 1920's. There was one ladies room and one men's room and lots of people ordering drinks at the bar. I wish our 
restaurant server was around to do the math on that one. 

We made it back to our original seats after switching with my 
husband so my mother-in-law could be closer to see the performance. She's 85 and has poor vision. The rogue seats were much better for her and the original seat holders never showed up. The second half of the concert went off without a hitch and I could relax knowing every person walking by wasn't there to take my seat. 

On our way out we walked down the street to the parking structure talking about how much we loved the concert and how fun it was even with all the hilarious seat switching. A guy and his girlfriend 
were walking ahead of us. I commented on her outfit to my daughter. She was wearing a cute dress and boots and a hat. She looked like the actress, Michelle Williams. Her boyfriend looked like the actor, Javier Bardem. They turned the corner at the light and walked a little way down the street. We stood on the corner waiting for the light to turn green so we could cross. The guy 
turned back and approached us followed by his girlfriend. He told us his girlfriend was too shy to ask us but they wanted to take us on their jet right that minute to Cancun. My husband speaks Spanish so he made a joking comment to the guy in Spanish and he told us he was serious. He wanted us all to go to Cancun with he and his girlfriend, "Right now!" We could take a car to the airport and take his plane to Cancun. I laughed at this craziness and pushed the crossing light button hard, wishing the light would turn green! My son laughed too and my husband also. I think my mother-in-law was contemplating going with the Javier Bardem, "No Country For Old Men" crazy look-alike. "Javier" started calling my son "Picasso." He has this artistic mustache that attracts plenty of attention. It was getting weirder by the second.  We politely declined the offer to be possible drug mules, sex slaves, and/or murdered. The light turned green and we left the offer of Cancun behind us on the sidewalk and walked/ran to our car. My son said, "It's Hollywood, mom. Everyone is a character here." 

So, Mother's Day 2014 will remain a very memorable day for years to come. Next year we will skip the five hour breakfast, maybe see another concert but this time sprint to our car as fast as we can and talk about what a fun time we had once the doors are locked and we are safe inside on our way home, away from Hollyweird! 


lynngweeny said...

You win!!!!
That was one heck of a Mother's Day!

Katie Clooney said...

Romi... just found your post. too funny. Ma-in-law and I would have hopped that jet faster than you can say Adios. You are so funny. I joined your site so Bloglovin' will let me know when you post. So glad you like the brownies and deoderant - two necessities of life. Have a great week and hope you post again soon!!!!

Mary Kay said...

No made that up! Don't worry, karma will find those seat stealers.

Romi Q said...

It was all true! Pinky swear!