Once upon a time my sister had some suitors who came calling in a unique manner. My sister, the Fair Maiden, had long raven hair made of silk and eyes the color of a misty blue sea at dawn. Her suitors did not let her beauty go unnoticed. They courted her on the playground, in class and after school. She was in grade school when they first laid eyes on her. They were her classmates. It was during 6th grade. Her popularity was such that she had her choice of three boyfriends if she so chose.
Alas, it was not to be. The Fair Maiden, being only 11 years of age was not allowed to date or have boyfriends. They were to remain friends as it should be.
Until...
A few years passed and she grew older. In her fifteenth year she was again approached by the young men who had not forgotten her beauty so many years ago. One in particular was so enamored of her he let his friends convince him of his need to go to her house and profess his love publicly. The three friends made their way to the castle. They did not have to cross a moat or slay a dragon or call to her to let her hair down upon approach of our home. No, they had their own ideas of what a star-crossed - would be lover - should do in the event he needed my fair sister to know of the depths of his love. Most young men who came to the castle to visit the three sisters who lived there rang the doorbell and asked for the sister of their choosing to come to the door. Some called on the telephone and hung up when the Gruff King answered the call instead of the Fair Maiden.
The three young boys came with brave hearts and a brazen plan. We don't know how they came to our castle as in those days there was no Google Maps or Facebook or Internet White Pages. The Gruff King liked his privacy and built a fortress around his castle walls to protect his family. He paid extra so our castle address would not be in the phone book or have a telephone operator reveal our number. Our castle was not close to the village where the boys lived. I am convinced that love led the way. The boys set out to find the fairest sister in the kingdom and find her they did.
They came on a Saturday. We were all home except for the Gruff King. Twas a good thing, for there might then be a completely different and terrifying story to tell if he had been home. The Gruff King scared boys away. Never to return. I know of what I speak. Once he turned one of my very own suitors away at the door when I was a young lass of sixteen, but that is another story for another time. Suffice it to say, slaying a dragon would have been preferable to facing the Gruff King.
Well, to continue with the tale...the Fair Maiden was inside the castle walls playing the theme from Love Story on the piano when a loud cry erupted out front followed by another and another. Shouts for the Fair Maiden to come outside were heard throughout the kingdom.
"What is that racket?" shouted the Queen rising from her throne as she tossed the newspaper she had been reading and the peppermint patty she had been about to pop in her mouth up in the air with abandoned glee, for she was bored and in need of something exciting on a dull Saturday. The Gruff King wasn't around to stir the pot and the Queen had her subjects (the other two sisters) working hard cleaning the castle. It would be a welcome relief to have a disturbance.
Outside there was a fierce battle being waged with the young men. Two of the boys had pulled a hidden rope from the forest just beyond the castle. The third boy pretended he did not know about the hidden rope. He shrieked with mock horror. He pretended to run. He called for the fair maiden to rescue him. She was not done practicing the piano as the kitchen timer had not gone off yet so she sat playing like the dutiful princess she was. The Queen opened the castle door and looking beyond the moat saw a young man tied to one of the trees calling out for help. The two boys who had tied the third boy to the tree vanished into thin air. The Queen called for the Fair Maiden to come and see The Boy tied to the tree. The Fair Maiden called back that she was busy and did not wish to see The Boy. The other two sisters stopped cleaning and crawled from the chimney covered in soot and ashes for they wanted to see The Boy. They were curious and needed a break.
The Boy writhed fiercely against the ropes and called out to the Fair Maiden to come outside. He was quite dramatic. Not the Fair Maidens' type at all. The two sisters, the Queen and all the forest animals could not calm The Boy. He wanted naught but the Fair Maiden. He would not settle for less than an audience with the Fair Maiden.
The Queen went back into the castle to speak to the Fair Maiden. Negotiations lasted quite a while as the Queen was a Leo, and the fair maiden was an Aries, and we all know Aries are always right. The Fair Maiden finally relented (just this once) and was coaxed into speaking to The Boy. He was not to be her prince. She dragged her feet and stepped slowly through the grass until finally she stood in front of The Boy tied to the tree. The sister's had been tending to The Boy feeding him things from the end of a stick. They thought it great fun to pretend they were going to light a fire under his feet and roast marshmallows. They grew bored and wandered back to the castle to play Cinderella once more in the hearth when the Fair Maiden arrived.
The Fair Maiden faced The Boy. "What is it you desire?" she asked.
The Boy looked at her and said, "I desire a date with you. I would like to take you ice skating if it pleases you so."
The Fair Maiden looked at The Boy and said, "But the Gruff King and the Boss of Me Queen will not allow me to date until I am sixteen. Surely you must know that for it is the law of the land."
The Boy thought for a while, " Seeing as it will be months until you are of age, I think it best that I not wait here. I shall return when you are sixteen once you cut me down."
The Fair Maiden said, "I am a Fair Maiden. I will go get my brother the unPrince to cut you down."
...and so it was The Boy was cut down by the unPrince and sent on his merry way until ten years (The Boy was not very good at math) had passed. The Fair Maiden and The Boy met at a high school reunion where The Boy shared the glad news of his engagement with all until he laid eyes on the Fair Maiden. He made his way through the crowded room to stand by her side. He asked for her hand in dance. She danced with The Boy and he told her of his bride-to-be. The Fair Maiden wished him the best and smiled sweetly. The Boy told her he was having second thoughts about his bride-to-be after seeing her again. The Fair Maiden said, "Nay, Boy. You have made the right choice. For I am to be wed to a Prince three years hence who will be my Knight in Shining Armor and you are to be but a fond memory from my youth. Go forth and marry The Girl and live happily ever after."
And he did.
And she did.
...the end...
Alas, it was not to be. The Fair Maiden, being only 11 years of age was not allowed to date or have boyfriends. They were to remain friends as it should be.
Until...
A few years passed and she grew older. In her fifteenth year she was again approached by the young men who had not forgotten her beauty so many years ago. One in particular was so enamored of her he let his friends convince him of his need to go to her house and profess his love publicly. The three friends made their way to the castle. They did not have to cross a moat or slay a dragon or call to her to let her hair down upon approach of our home. No, they had their own ideas of what a star-crossed - would be lover - should do in the event he needed my fair sister to know of the depths of his love. Most young men who came to the castle to visit the three sisters who lived there rang the doorbell and asked for the sister of their choosing to come to the door. Some called on the telephone and hung up when the Gruff King answered the call instead of the Fair Maiden.
The three young boys came with brave hearts and a brazen plan. We don't know how they came to our castle as in those days there was no Google Maps or Facebook or Internet White Pages. The Gruff King liked his privacy and built a fortress around his castle walls to protect his family. He paid extra so our castle address would not be in the phone book or have a telephone operator reveal our number. Our castle was not close to the village where the boys lived. I am convinced that love led the way. The boys set out to find the fairest sister in the kingdom and find her they did.
They came on a Saturday. We were all home except for the Gruff King. Twas a good thing, for there might then be a completely different and terrifying story to tell if he had been home. The Gruff King scared boys away. Never to return. I know of what I speak. Once he turned one of my very own suitors away at the door when I was a young lass of sixteen, but that is another story for another time. Suffice it to say, slaying a dragon would have been preferable to facing the Gruff King.
Well, to continue with the tale...the Fair Maiden was inside the castle walls playing the theme from Love Story on the piano when a loud cry erupted out front followed by another and another. Shouts for the Fair Maiden to come outside were heard throughout the kingdom.
"What is that racket?" shouted the Queen rising from her throne as she tossed the newspaper she had been reading and the peppermint patty she had been about to pop in her mouth up in the air with abandoned glee, for she was bored and in need of something exciting on a dull Saturday. The Gruff King wasn't around to stir the pot and the Queen had her subjects (the other two sisters) working hard cleaning the castle. It would be a welcome relief to have a disturbance.
Outside there was a fierce battle being waged with the young men. Two of the boys had pulled a hidden rope from the forest just beyond the castle. The third boy pretended he did not know about the hidden rope. He shrieked with mock horror. He pretended to run. He called for the fair maiden to rescue him. She was not done practicing the piano as the kitchen timer had not gone off yet so she sat playing like the dutiful princess she was. The Queen opened the castle door and looking beyond the moat saw a young man tied to one of the trees calling out for help. The two boys who had tied the third boy to the tree vanished into thin air. The Queen called for the Fair Maiden to come and see The Boy tied to the tree. The Fair Maiden called back that she was busy and did not wish to see The Boy. The other two sisters stopped cleaning and crawled from the chimney covered in soot and ashes for they wanted to see The Boy. They were curious and needed a break.
The Boy writhed fiercely against the ropes and called out to the Fair Maiden to come outside. He was quite dramatic. Not the Fair Maidens' type at all. The two sisters, the Queen and all the forest animals could not calm The Boy. He wanted naught but the Fair Maiden. He would not settle for less than an audience with the Fair Maiden.
The Queen went back into the castle to speak to the Fair Maiden. Negotiations lasted quite a while as the Queen was a Leo, and the fair maiden was an Aries, and we all know Aries are always right. The Fair Maiden finally relented (just this once) and was coaxed into speaking to The Boy. He was not to be her prince. She dragged her feet and stepped slowly through the grass until finally she stood in front of The Boy tied to the tree. The sister's had been tending to The Boy feeding him things from the end of a stick. They thought it great fun to pretend they were going to light a fire under his feet and roast marshmallows. They grew bored and wandered back to the castle to play Cinderella once more in the hearth when the Fair Maiden arrived.
The Fair Maiden faced The Boy. "What is it you desire?" she asked.
The Boy looked at her and said, "I desire a date with you. I would like to take you ice skating if it pleases you so."
The Fair Maiden looked at The Boy and said, "But the Gruff King and the Boss of Me Queen will not allow me to date until I am sixteen. Surely you must know that for it is the law of the land."
The Boy thought for a while, " Seeing as it will be months until you are of age, I think it best that I not wait here. I shall return when you are sixteen once you cut me down."
The Fair Maiden said, "I am a Fair Maiden. I will go get my brother the unPrince to cut you down."
...and so it was The Boy was cut down by the unPrince and sent on his merry way until ten years (The Boy was not very good at math) had passed. The Fair Maiden and The Boy met at a high school reunion where The Boy shared the glad news of his engagement with all until he laid eyes on the Fair Maiden. He made his way through the crowded room to stand by her side. He asked for her hand in dance. She danced with The Boy and he told her of his bride-to-be. The Fair Maiden wished him the best and smiled sweetly. The Boy told her he was having second thoughts about his bride-to-be after seeing her again. The Fair Maiden said, "Nay, Boy. You have made the right choice. For I am to be wed to a Prince three years hence who will be my Knight in Shining Armor and you are to be but a fond memory from my youth. Go forth and marry The Girl and live happily ever after."
And he did.
And she did.
...the end...
