Out of the mouths of babes. . .

I work in an elementary school. I'm the librarian. I love my job. This week the kids were extra entertaining, so I thought I'd share what they said with you.

I was at a district library meeting last week and missed seeing one of the kindergarten classes in the library. As the kinder cubs filed in on Tuesday one of the kids asked me where I had been the previous week. I told her I had been at a meeting. She asked where. I said at an office not being too specific -she is only 5- and I didn't want to bog her down with details. Another little boy stood up and announced in a matter-of-fact manner, "She was with her boyfriend."

I think that kid is going to work on the show "Cheater's" when he grows up.

Today I was busy showing another kindergarten girl where the princess books were located. She asked me to choose one for her. I picked a couple books off the shelf and as I was showing her some of the books another student came up and said, "Where's the 'f' word?" I looked at the book I was holding in my hand wondering if someone had scribbled the "f" word on the book and his eagle eye had found it before me. I asked him to repeat himself to make sure I understood. He repeated himself. It was exactly what he said the first time. I told him I wasn't exactly sure what he meant. He insisted that he was looking for the "f" word. I told him that it was checked out... It's a standard thing I say whenever a kid asks me for something we don't have and is persistent.

One minute I'm in my happy place, looking at pretty princesses in a Disney book and the next minute I've got a little guy throwing "f" word questions at me. I was a little surprised. As I headed back to the library counter the little guy followed behind me and kept insisting that he wanted the "f" word. I gave him an "A" for effort...but I couldn't give him the "F" he wanted. I almost made it to my safety zone, which is the area behind the library counter where children are not allowed, when he made one last ditch effort to stop me. He tapped my on the thigh and said, "It looks like this." I was almost afraid to turn around and see his little finger sticking up in the air...but it wasn't ... he was pointing at a shelf marker displaying the letter "W" that is used to identify the last name of the author in that section. He wanted me to show him where the books were by authors with the last name beginning with the letter "F". I wiped the sweat from my brow -- renewed my faith in children the world over -- and showed him the shelf he was looking for with a fresh smile on my face. Another disaster diverted for today.

And last but not least...a student wanted a certain book. I checked on the computer and told him it was out. I looked a little further to see when it would be returned and found that it had been marked as lost. I told the student. His quick response was, " My brother lost it." His brother is in 5th grade and wouldn't be caught dead checking out "Pinocchio." Next time I see this kid's brother I'm going to tell him to sleep with one eye open.